The 5 Workplace 'Love Languages'
What I’ve learned about what makes different people in an organization tick
Anyone who works with me has heard me say, “Systems and processes are my love language.” It’s a cheeky way to express that a well-thought-out, intentional, repeatable system is one of the best ways to win with me.
My systems-and-processes mindset has sometimes put me at odds with people who don’t live in that world of checklists and documented steps. I’ve had difficult conversations with people who don’t think the way I do – or don’t care as much about the things I do – and I’ve found myself incredibly frustrated in those moments, screaming inside my head, “Why can’t you understand why this matters?!”
I hope someone reading this can relate to that moment.
I talk with my team often about the different personalities in the workplace. On any team, there are multiple communication styles, working styles, organizational styles, and more. Being a successful leader, manager, or even just a strong teammate means learning about both your own styles and others’. Self-awareness, combined with awareness of others, creates a strong foundation you can draw from as you work with different people.
So I started thinking: if systems and processes are my “love language,” what might be other people’s workplace love languages?
Here’s what I came up with:
Systems & Processes
These are my people. We feel valued when things run smoothly, predictably, and by the book. We like knowing a project or task is being thought through—because building the plane while flying it seriously stresses us out.
We seek clarity, order, and consistency. While we love having things documented, there’s still a fair amount that lives in our heads. Give us a project management tool and we’ll thrive by marking up tasks, assigning deadlines, and building dashboard views.
How to work with us: Allow us the space to create structure, communicate the vision and expectations clearly, and try not to skip steps just to go faster.
Autonomy & Growth
These teammates feel best when they’re trusted to move quickly, make their own calls, and stretch into new challenges. Give them room to try, fail, learn, and improve, and they’ll thrive.
They prefer minimal red tape and high trust. If they understand the goal, they’ll say, “Let me run with it.” They’re motivated by momentum, mastery, and a sense that their skills are sharpening over time.
How to work with them: Give them the space they need to lead and grow. Make the goal clear and only step in when something truly needs adjusting. Challenge them to develop their skills in practical ways.
Achievement & Recognition
Participation trophies are abominations to these competitive, growth-oriented people. They’re always looking for new ways to improve, scale, and win. They want to know what success looks like upfront so they can push past the goal.
They can be intense, but you want these people on your team. They’re strong collaborators, as long as everyone is moving in the same direction. And when they win, they want recognition for the work they put in.
How to work with them: When possible, invite them to set goals alongside you. Provide incentives for overachivement. Celebrate their wins publicly and specifically.
Team & Belonging
If “teamwork makes the dream work” were a person, it would be these teammates. They feel appreciated when they’re part of a collaborative, close-knit group. They’re motivated by relationships and a shared sense of community.
They want to like the people they work with. And if they do, they’ll fight hard for the highest good of the team.
How to work with them: Prioritize regular connection that goes beyond the small talk. Foster a strong team culture, and don’t underestimate the power of a thoughtful, random check-in.
Vision & Creativity
Finally, these people feel inspired when they’re building something new, interesting, and meaningful. If they feel connected to the big idea, they’ll move mountains to make it happen. But if the vision keeps shifting or starts to feel out of reach, they can become demoralized.
They want to be brought in early to help brainstorm and shape the direction. They may not have every detail figured out, but they can paint one hell of a picture.
How to work with them: Lead with “why.” Invite them in early so they propose things you never even thought of. Protect and honor the vision as things advance.
As you read through these, you probably saw yourself in more than one, and that’s okay: there’s usually one or two that hit hardest whereas others can be harder to access.
In the workplace, people feel appreciated in different ways and get fired up by different things. Like the original love languages, these are about what makes someone feel seen, motivated, and part of the team.
I hope this was a helpful (and maybe even fun) way to think about how you and your teammates tick.
I’d love to hear from you: Which of these resonate most with you? And if I missed a workplace love language you’ve seen in action, let me know in the comments.
From the blog this week:
I write short daily posts on my blog, mostly about nonprofit leadership and operations. Here’s what I posted this week: